I ONCE saw a bull terrier attempting to first scale and then batter down a garden wall to get at the bitch in heat on the other side. Nothing would deter it from its quest, and the dog had to be brought inside before it did any further damage to the flower beds and perhaps even itself.

And so it is with teenagers. The moment their hormonal soups begin to simmer and the gonadal frenzies start, there is perhaps nothing we can do - apart from putting them in solitary confinement - to prevent the little dears from tearing one another's clothes off. It happens at puberty. And what's more, it is supposed to happen. 

Their bodies, in simple terms, are hard-wired for it and anyone who proposes otherwise is making a bit of a Cnut of himself. (Cnut the Great, you may remember, ruled the North Sea Empire in the early 11th century and supposedly made an ass of himself on a beach by ordering the tide to turn back.)

Which is why it is somewhat dismaying that lawmakers now wish to scrap sections 15 and 16 of Sexual Offences Act and make it illegal for anyone under 16 to have consensual sexual intercourse. 

According to Justice Department spokesman Mthunzi Mhaga, the proposals flowed from discussions in the justice and correctional services portfolio committee's public hearings into proposed amendments to the act. 

If implemented, commentators have pointed out, it would mean that a 16-year-old person could be charged with rape or sexual assault for consensual sexual acts with a partner who was younger than 16. 

Although the Mahogany Ridge regulars were not present at the hearings, we are willing to bet the committee heard no submissions from those who would be most affected by these proposed abuses - the kids themselves. 

Invariably, those pushing for a change in the law would argue that they do so because they have our children's best interests at heart and want to protect them - even from themselves. 

The controversy with sections 15 and 16 of the act reportedly arose following a case in 2010 when Johannesburg high school pupils who had filmed themselves having sex were charged with statutory rape. 

The 15-year-old girl involved initially claimed she had been drugged but later admitted she had consented to have sex with the boys, aged 14 and 16. Last year she killed herself, unable to deal with the shame of the court case, relentless media attention and public humiliation.

It was a shocking tragedy - and one that arguably could have been avoided had the then national director of public prosecutions, Menzi Simelane, not elected to charge the girl with statutory rape. Who knows what he was thinking of at the time.

But here's the thing, whatever these kids did with one another, it was nowhere near as aberrant or as repulsive as some of the things adults would do with them. And I'm not just talking about the sicko Bob Hewitts and the Jimmy Saviles of this world. 

There are sanctioned botherers out there clearly concerned that our kids are having too much fun. They dribble and fume from the pulpit or whatever soapbox they can find about the evils of television and smartphones and who knows what. Their urge to control others is repulsive and they're the best example of the truism that the best way to protect children is to keep adults as far away from them as possible.

Which brings us fittingly to Robert Mugabe, who in old age is apparently enjoying a second, or maybe third childhood. Prior to his state visit this week, the Zimbabwean leader had managed to keep himself as far as possible from us for more than two decades. Well done.

Commentators later expressed surprise that, during a press briefing in Pretoria, he prattled on spiritedly for more than an hour without much assistance from the nurses, giggling about such diverse topics as the fuss over the statue of Cecil John Rhodes, the demise of dear chum Muammar Gaddafi and the strange buzzing in his ears which may or may not have been the 21-gun salute.

There was speculation, unkind perhaps, that he may have been at that special Malaysian vampire muthi we've heard so much about. But whatever kept him so spry and twinkly on Tuesday had worn off by Thursday when he visited the Hector Petersen Memorial in Soweto. He sourly declined an interview with the SABC, telling their reporter, "I don't want to see a white face." Handsome Bob was referring to another journalist.

Oh dear. So very old and still such a racist Cnut.

This article first appeared in the Weekend Argus.

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