Revolution on the golf course
Emotions ran high at the Utopia Golf Club. Mr Glib, the local human rights lawyer, addressed the meeting: “Mr Chairman, this golf club is becoming the symbol of inequality in the country. It’s a disgrace.” A few people applauded while others nodded approvingly. Everyone knew that Mr Glib always has good intentions. The chairman tried again: “Glib, it’s a tragedy that Golf Heights’ champion committed suicide after having lost, but it’s highly unusual”. “Unusual?”, Glib roared. “It’s because of inequality – it’s the umpteenth case that’s hit the golfing world this year! Experts say golf will die if things carry on like this”.
Mr Smart, the local journalist, modestly lowered his eyes as everyone was looking in his direction; he was the ‘experts’ after all. Glib carried on: “This tragedy could have been avoided had there been more equality and justice in golfing. We have to act now to avert another tragedy. Right now!” “But golf has a handicap system to give weaker players an equal chance,” the chairman said. “Equal chance is not yet real equality,” Glib replied threateningly. “I demand equal scores”.
The chairman wished the meeting was over. He farms with chickens and they only lay eggs and don’t stand up for their rights. “Glib, so what do you really want?” he asked with resignation. “We need a Bill of Golfing Rights,” Glib said, with an important air. “Isn’t that a communist thing?”, Oudominee, the village pastor, wanted to know. “Don’t be silly,” Felix, Utopia’s resident philosopher with the pony tail muttered. “Silence please,” Smart said while leaning forward in his chair. He smelled a story. If only he could get a story published in the Transformania News, he would be on par again.
Bill of Golf Rights
“We must draft the world’s most modern Bill of Golf Rights,” Glib commenced. “Hear, hear!”, the councillor and Missy Young shouted. “Yes,” Glib (noticing Missy’s short yellow polka dot mini and suddenly encouraged by the new support) said: “We have to break with golfing’s Old Order. I’m telling you we have to break with it. We should start by filling up all the holes.” “What!”, Putter, the town’s best golfer, exclaimed and jumped up. “Are you mad?” Glib was not to be put off: “Golf scores benefit only the best players, encourage unhealthy competition and lead to inequality,” he said. “Had Golf Heights’ champion not lost, he still would have been with us today.”