I'M GOING to tell it like it is, and I don't care what anyone says.
Robert Mugabe has completely screwed up Zimbabwe and is a failure as a president.
Don't come and tell me about how it's okay for our fellow Africans across the border to suffer and starve if it means old Bob can wave his shrivelled 4-5 in the face of the colonialists.
It's the job of the president to make sure his country is run properly and that his citizens are safe, healthy and have good economic opportunities.
Insulting Tony Blair and the British Queen, as Mugabe spent all his time doing as his country's economy and food resources disappeared down the drain, is something you can do after achieving all of the above.
This week Mugabe revealed that his monthly salary is R142 000.
The more I thought about it, the more I realised that this explains why he doesn't care about messing up his country.
Why would he care that more than 76% Zimbabwe's adults get less than R2 361 a month? That everything is expensive? That infrastructure is falling apart? When you earn 60 times what the ordinary man and woman on the street earns, you don't have to care.
Hospitals are falling apart, but why would that bother Bob? He just flies to the Far East when he needs medical care.
Food shortages? When you can stuff your face with expensive imported delicacies every day, who cares? And don't think for one minute that he pays for it out of that salary we talked about. That's just another extra.
It's also not a problem that the economy is in the toilet and you can't buy what you need at the shops. Just put your wife on a plane and send her to another country to go and do some shopping at the best luxury malls. Yes, it's good to be king - I mean, president.
While I was sitting there sipping my cheap whisky, I had another revelation. The best revelations always come with the cheap stuff, or maybe I just think that because it's all I can afford. Anyway, I realised that all of this isn't just a Zimbabwean problem, but a big one in Mzansi too.
Over here our politicians travel in expensive cars they don't pay for. And if you're on the same road when they come shooting past in their blue-light convoys, then good luck to you.
Why would they care if roads aren't big enough to handle all the growing traffic when they can just ignore the rules and push everyone out of the way? It's only the rest of us normal folk who have to spend hours getting to home or work.
Schools are failing to teach our kids and prepare them for the future, but our leaders don't care, because their kids go to expensive private schools.
When our politicians get sick they make use of private hospitals most citizens can't afford to go to, even if they could travel the long distances to get there.
And now comes the worst part, the part that is keeping me awake at night.
If our politicians messed up everything so badly that the whole country falls apart and there's no more electricity, water or food, then what do you think will happen to them?
Nothing! They'll just take their millions and go live somewhere else, while the rest of us starve and die of disease.
So there you have it: if you're one of these rich politicians you really have no reason to make Mzansi abetter place for all.
You know that no matter what happens, you'll be fine.
Now if you ask me, there's nothing scarier than a leader who knows there are no consequences for failure, incompetence or even crime.
How do we solve this problem? I have no idea. I think I'm going to need a whole lot more whisky to figure that out.
Tell Mr Potatoes what you think:
This article first appeared in the Sunday Sun.
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