Excuse me Madam Zille, have you a minute?
Let me hastily apologise for this impolite intrusion in your busy schedule Ma'am but please allow me to bring you up to speed with what these black folks are saying about you. As a good black man and a Christian, I thought you might need to know the truth about what them black folks think about your statements regarding the refugees from Eastern Cape Madam. I must tell you from the outset that I, your trusted boy Madam, have taken your comments in context and I actually understand you Ma'am.
What I do not understand are these other blacks complaining about your comments. I mean, Madam, s'true mos that these refugees from the East side are crowding them white folks here in Kaapstad and white folks can't even breath no more these days!
I heard them black folks rumbling a lot these days about your violation of the Constitution Madam. I'm not sure what possibly could black folks know anything about such a subject. I mean c'mon, that is your area of specialization Ma'am. They just need to ask President Zuma. They have been saying something to the effect that the Preamble to our Constitution states that "we, the people of South Africa...believe that South Africa (including Western Cape) belongs to all who live in it, united in our diversity... blah blah blah..." What nonsense!
You have no idea how irritated I was Madam when they shouted at the peak of their voices that Chapter 1 of this Constitution states that "The Republic of South Africa is one, sovereign, democratic state founded on the...values of (a) human dignity, the achievement of equality and the advancement of human rights and freedoms; (b) non-racialism and non-sexism...and so on and so forth". I mean really, who cares? When do them black folks began to read so much as to quote sections of your bible Madam? Don't them black folks have no respect no more for the civilized white folk?
They have been asking me if the Madam was trying to redefine the Constitution in order to insulate the Western Cape as an Ivory Tower for affluent whites. They are asking also if them blacks living in this part of the country were more like a disease to the Madam, to which attached is the warning: gevaar, in order to warn white folks in your Province?
They say that would be a serious indictment on your part Madam, given your passionate intensity in defending our Constitution from the likes of the ANC. I just ignored these silly comments my leader because they sounded racist. I mean black folks are so ungrateful Madam, you were right.
They almost killed me with laughter when they quoted Section 9 (3) of the Constitution saying that you Madam may not unfairly discriminate against them on the basis of their ethnic or social origin. Even more fundamentally, they dared to argue Madam, Section 21 (3) states that "every citizen has the right to...remain in and reside anywhere in the Republic." Don't these black folks learn that they are way too dark and scary to live amongst them white folks? How silly!
They say these are very important provisions in our Constitution, and to recklessly violate them as the Madam has done, so they say, is to open a Pandora's Box. What hogwash! I exclaimed reminding them that they must tell that to Mr. De Klerk, not you Ma'am, because you were never part of the CODESA negotiations... or whatever that is called.
They say what you said reminded them of the indignity and subhuman conditions under which they were forced to live by the Apartheid regime. Just as they thought that psychological scar of indignity was healing you Madam, they kept saying, poked a sharp object into this scar with your denigrating comments.
What makes them even more livid, they claim, is your arrogance when the insulting and racist undertones of your comments were brought to your attention. They say to seek to justify your comments with what you call a ‘broad definition' of a refugee is naïve and actually displays stupidity of a white supremacist. What! Black folks have no respect no more for our white Massas! How can they call Madam stupid? I protested in vain.
The black youth leaders in your party, Lindiwe Mazibiko, Amanda Ngwenya, Maimane etc., are they refugees too? They asked. I told them the Madam does not have time to respond to such nonsensical questions as she is busy cycling around the Chapman's Peak to keep in shape.
But they were very persistent Madam, more like angry. They insisted I ask you that, if you call them refugees, where are their refugee recognition papers or ‘Dom Passes' so that they can live and work legally in your province? They say your comments mean that they have contravened the Refugees Act 130 of 1998 and the Immigration Act of 2002 because they don't have such refugee papers. I told them my Madam will sure arrest and deport them back to their poverty in the Eastern Cape. Can you please organize me papers in the meantime Madam so that I remain working for you as a good boy?
They pointed out that today the DA is doing the same thing done during apartheid but under different conditions. They say you are hammering the myth into the black young minds that if they benefit from government programmes meant to redress the imbalances of the past, then that means they are not good or capable enough compared to a white person. I mean c'mon, that's obviously true, because you Madam always remind me that gardening and governing are very distinct professions, with the former for me, and the latter for you Madam.
In other words, for you to be regarded as an intellectually capable black person worth recognition by white folks in the DA, they continued, you must refuse to benefit from these opportunities created by government in its attempt to correct these historical imbalances.
Instead, so goes their argument, you must compete for these opportunities with the same white folks (or their children) that immensely benefitted materially and otherwise from the apartheid system at the expense of black folks. How clever can Madam get! I screamed with excitement.
They said it is strange for you refer to blacks as refugees in Cape Town because black DA leaders are working themselves to death more than the white folks in the DA, just so they prove they are as good as their white Massas in the DA. I mean how can that be? Even I knows that black folks can't be as good as white folks at all!
They say these blacks in the DA exude exactly this white-induced refugee mentality (black inferiority). They have to work harder compared to the whites in the DA so that they can prove to them that they deserve to be in their country of refuge (DA), they argued. They say these blacks in the DA work so hard to impress you Madam only for you to spit in their faces by calling them refugees.
I suppose them black folks are jealous of these other blacks. Oh Lord please have mercy on them heathen souls! At this stage they all screamed at me Madam, calling your honourable name saying that you are...err... you know Madam what them black folks like to call white Massas: Racist! Racist! Racist! That is when I ran off as fast as I could to come and inform you that them black folks are very angry at you Madam.
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