The EFF goes off

David Bullard writes on SA's very own mini-Hitler, as well as a competency quiz for our political class


The law moves in mysterious ways in South Africa it seems. Now Brian Shivambu has famously signed a confidential document admitting that R4.55mln of funds looted from VBS Bank found its way into his bank account for no good reason are we to believe that this is the end of the matter?

If simply paying back the proceeds of crime gets you out of all that messy and expensive business of going to court as the accused, applying for bail and pleading not guilty ahead of your trial then I think we should all be cut in on the deal.

This would mean that if I robbed the local jewellery store and was careless enough to get caught on the security cameras then all I would have to do is return the luxury watches and diamond brooches in mint condition and that would be the end of the matter.

I know the current court system and its fancy dress traditions owe much to the legacy of the hated colonialists but surely this is taking things a bit far.

The point with Mr Brian Shivambu though is that it is alleged and well documented by Daily Maverick and Scorpio investigative journo, the courageous Pauli Van Wyk, that an amount closer to R20mln flowed unusually towards Mr B Shivambu thorough various front companies and then mysteriously found its way into the accounts of Mr Floyd Shivambu and Mr Julius Malema in order to help them live lives of unashamed luxury while pretending to be on the side of the poor and downtrodden. When the accusations first arose way back in 2018 (when Range Rover Sports were cheaper than they are today) the response was this:

“The EFF reiterates its position that all who are responsible and illegally benefited from the fraud must be criminally prosecuted immediately…. Above all, the law enforcement agencies must do all they can to ensure that all the money that can be recovered must be paid back in full….” 

Ms Van Wyk was subsequently threatened with rape, burning and hanging by loyal EFF supporters on social media. What a lovely lot they are.

I don’t suppose we should get too excited about the law enforcement authorities criminally prosecuting all those who illegally benefitted from the fraud. If that happened the EFF would become leaderless and the gullible cretins would have nobody to tell them who to kill. What should happen though is that the EFF should be deregistered as a political party ahead of the October elections.

How on earth can you have a political party led by people who urge their followers to disobey the latest lockdown rules and who now demand that vaccines be brought in from Russia and China for their followers?

Vaccines that have thus far proven to have far less efficacy than those produced by the capitalist west. Sinovac, the Chinese vax, only offers a reported 55% protection against some strains of COVID against the 90%+ of Johnson and Johnson.

Malema on his Twitter page urged people to ignore the social distancing rules and march to the SAHPRA offices on 25th June to demand that vaccines from communist countries be made available in South Africa.

Rather amusingly the Commander in Chief even managed to mis-spell his own organisation’s name which takes some doing given there are only three letters involved. This really gives you confidence in the EFFer’s ability to run a country doesn’t it?

If, after all the painstaking investigation by dedicated journalists and the overwhelming evidence of large-scale financial skulduggery, anybody takes the EFF seriously as a constructive political force then the country is in serious trouble.

Add to their thievery the frequent racist outbursts against Jews, whites, coloureds, Indians and any black South African who dares to disagree with them, plus the violence both actual and threatened against journalists and you have as near a modern equivalent of the rise of Hitler’s Nazi party as you could ever imagine.

The political commentators may well run the numbers and decide that the EFF are unlikely to win control of any municipalities in October but the fact that they have well remunerated members of parliament stirring up hatred from within should be giving any decent South African sleepless nights. ___STEADY_PAYWALL___


Virtually every business activity in this country requires one to register with some or other official sounding body, pass certain minimum operating standards imposed by said body, fill in lots of forms to prove you know what you’re doing and get a license and ensure that your staff represent the demographics of the country and that the business is LGBTQIA+ and disabled friendly. Anybody wanting to start even a small business has to jump through so many obstructive hoops that you wonder why anyone ever bothers.

All of this is supposed to reassure us that we live in a well-regulated society and that the consumer will be protected at all times. The only exception to the rule (surprise) is politicians. They don’t have to pass any competency test at all and the dire results are there for all to see.

Surely it’s time for the people of this country to demand that those purporting to represent us in parliament demonstrate some level of competency?

For example we could set a short multiple choice questionnaire which would be preferable for those who find joined up writing a bit taxing. Simple questions to determine the suitability of someone for a five year, well paid stint in Parliament. For example:

1. Electricity is a universally popular way to power both businesses and households. If you wish to grow the economy and create employment would you…

a) maintain current facilities and build more power stations

b) award yourself a large performance bonus on your first day in the job

c) anchor a few ugly powerships off the scenic SA coast after concluding a secret deal with the suppliers.

2. Youth unemployment is a major problem in the country. How would you solve this? Would you….

a) drop the draconian labour laws and encourage youth employment with training schemes and tax incentives

b) blame Jan Van Riebeeck

c)  tell them to join a gang on the Cape Flats

3. Many municipalities are bankrupt and not fit for purpose. How would you solve this problem?

a) kick out the loafers, prosecute the thieves and urgently put in competent management

b) change the name of the municipality to cover up the problem

c) blame Jan van Riebeeck.

Mostly a’s – well done. You deserve to be a politician

Mostly b’s – you are already a politician

Mostly c’s – and so are you.


In the bad old unwoke days, an actor was someone who would assume a role in a stage play or a movie and pretend to be that person. This used to be called entertainment before the new age of puritanism descended upon us.

If the actor was particularly convincing he or she would be honoured with some sort of award at a glitzy ceremony attended by other actors, some of them wearing very revealing clothing.

Back in 1989 Daniel Day-Lewis played the role of an actor with cerebral palsy in a movie called ‘My Left Foot’ and won an Oscar for his efforts. Today the director of that film, Jim Sheridan, said if he were to make that movie today he would cast an actor with cerebral palsy to play the role (although one could reasonably argue that this wouldn’t be acting).

The dreadful practice of ‘cripping’ (pretending to be crippled) in the arts has been outed along with blackface as unacceptable. This may well have dire consequences for future productions of Richard III and Othello.

Quite how many people with cerebral palsy are on theatrical agent’s books or who would turn up for the audition of a reshoot of ‘My Left Foot’ is a little unclear from the article I read. Then there is all the problem of learning and remembering the lines.

Difficult enough for an able bodied actor but well nigh impossible for someone who has never done it before. And there’s the added problem of your career trajectory. How many roles have been written for actors with cerebral palsy? Nobody wants to be a one hit wonder.

Hollywood leading lady Scarlet Johannson famously withdraw from a transgender part in the movie ‘Rub and Tug’ after an outcry from the LGBTQIA+ ‘community’ complaining about a cisgender female playing a trans role. The movie was never made but poor Scarlet was forced to apologise for her insensitivity.

All of this doesn’t bode well for the acting profession I’m afraid. You won’t be able to play Hamlet unless you have personally experienced the recent loss of a father through ear poisoning. And what about all those men playing Cinderella’s ugly sisters in Christmas panto? Fortunately that shouldn’t be a problem because there seem to be plenty of authentic ugly sisters to step into the role.


And finally, the theme for last week’s Youth Day celebrations was apparently “the year of Charlotte Maxeke”. Celebrating the youth in the same breath as a burnt out, dysfunctional Gauteng hospital in the middle of a fresh wave of COVID has to be the ultimate in taking the piss. This week’s ‘Out to Lunch award for bad taste goes to…..drum roll…the ANC.